1. Keep communication open

One of the most effective ways to respect your loved one’s privacy is through open and honest communication. Ask them if there are care tasks that you do that make them feel uncomfortable or vulnerable. Whether it’s during personal care tasks like bathing or dressing, or even handling their finances, understanding their boundaries is important. 

Ask questions like, “How can I help you while still giving you space?” or “What would make you feel more comfortable?” For example, your loved one may be more open to you helping them bathe if you provide them a privacy cloth or aren’t hovering over them during parts they can manage on their own. When your loved one knows that their preferences and opinions are valued, they’re more likely to feel respected and in control. 

2. Allow them to continue doing what they’re capable of doing 

Whenever your loved one is capable of safely performing tasks on their own, let them do so. Allowing them to maintain their routines and handle daily tasks like grooming or cooking reinforces their independence and self-esteem. You can support them from a distance, offering help only when it’s needed, and stepping back when they’re able to manage things on their own. 

You can also divide up tasks to make them more of a team effort. For example, if you’re not confident your loved one can safely handle a knife while cooking, you can take on the task of chopping vegetables while they take care of other tasks like measuring and mixing ingredients  

Your loved one should also be an active participant in decisions about their care, and as their caregiver, you should be an active listener. While you should prioritize their safety and recognize times when theirs wants may go against their best interests—such as not wanting to give up driving or refusing to take medication—you should also avoid unilaterally making decisions that will make them uncomfortable or unhappy. When your loved one feels heard and included, they’re more likely to be comfortable with the support they receive. 

3. Maintain confidentiality 

As a caregiver, you’re often privy to sensitive information regarding your loved one’s health and finances. It’s important to keep this information private and share it only with those who have a legitimate need to know. If you need to discuss your loved one’s personal information with healthcare providers or family members, ask their permission first. If your loved one has a dementia diagnosis, be sure to have conversations about information sharing early on so you can be sure their wishes are being respected even if they later lose the ability to express them. 

4. Practice courtesy

Though the role you serve in your loved one’s life may have changed, common courtesies and respectful measures should still be taken when they can. Things like knocking on your loved one’s door before entering, asking them for permission before opening a letter from their bank or calling before showing up at their house can make a big difference to them and how comfortable they feel in their situation.