Caregiving:
As loved ones age, their needs often change, and so do their housing requirements. One significant decision that caregivers may face is whether to encourage an older adult to downsize—or, as it's often referred to, "right size."
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Caregiving for a loved one involves walking a fine line between ensuring their well-being and respecting their need for privacy. As a caregiver, it’s natural to want to be as hands-on as possible, but it’s essential to recognize that your loved one’s sense of independence is closely tied to their sense of privacy.
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Daily life can become challenging as loved ones age, not just for them but also for the family. Adult children and other relatives in the family all do their best to support someone aging, but it’s important to remember that not all aspects of life while getting older can be remedied by a family member. There can be too much to balance with their own family, work, and a lack of medical expertise can only endanger elderly loved ones.
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In life, we are familiar with roles like spouse, mother, father, sister, brother and so on. These roles are well-defined and come with certain expectations attached. But what happens when these roles start to change? When a parent who once cared for you now needs care, or a spouse who you love can no longer experience the relationship in the same way due to memory loss, the shift can create a ripple effect of emotions and struggles.
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May marked a significant celebration for the nation's older adults—Older Americans Month. This yearly observance, established in 1963, is more than just a month-long recognition; it's a celebration of the invaluable contributions and wisdom of older Americans, as well as a commitment to improving their quality of life through important services.
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Caring for a loved one with a chronic health condition can present significant challenges, especially when it comes to seeking support. Many caregivers struggle with knowing where to turn for assistance and may feel reluctant to ask for help, feeling that their loved one’s care is something they should be shouldering on their own. However, accessing reliable resources and information is crucial for navigating the caregiving journey effectively.
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More Americans than ever are caregivers, creating challenges for families, the government, and our economy that are increasingly hard to ignore. I’m predicting five important trends, events, and impacts that I think we will see happen in 2024 because of these challenges, as well as the tremendous opportunities that exist to make a real impact on this growing crisis.
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As your loved one ages, you’re likely to find yourself worrying more about their wellbeing. Maybe you’re concerned about issues of them living safely in their current home, or taking care of themselves without in-home support. Or maybe you’re anxious about the possibility of memory loss, and early signs of dementia developing without anyone around to notice.
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Losing control can be a frustrating experience, and as we age, it often becomes a daily reality rather than an occasional challenge. This can happen in many ways. Some older adults find that they can’t drive safely anymore, others need help walking and some have to accept a home care aide.
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The success of health plans and healthcare providers is linked to the health outcomes and satisfaction of patients. However, to achieve optimal health outcomes it is crucial to recognize caregivers as integral members of the healthcare team. Caregivers, often family members or friends, play a significant role in patient care and their involvement can greatly impact healthcare outcomes.
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Caregivers often find themselves in the crucial roles of communicator and decision-maker during their loved one's medical appointments. However, this responsibility can be daunting, especially when you feel unfamiliar with medical settings and jargon, or worry that you shouldn’t burden health care professionals with questions they’ve probably answered a hundred times before.
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The Urban Institute reports that the number of Americans 65 and older will double by 2040. Our country’s aging population, combined with the number of people who are ill or disabled, is accelerating what has long been a challenge, to a state of real crisis.
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At some point, most people will find themselves caring for an older adult, adult child with developmental disabilities or loved one struggling with mental health issues. As more and more Millennials and young adults in Generation Z take on caregiving responsibilities, the more caregiving falls into the realm of working adults, rather than just retirees with more avenues to be flexible with time. So why are we still afraid to talk about caregiving while at work? The answer is stigma.
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There is an old saying among grandparents: It is nice when the grandchildren visit. It is also nice when they go home to their parents.
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Family caregivers often face challenges as they try to keep track of the many medications their relative takes each day. The average older American takes from four to five prescription and at least two non-prescription medications every day.
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Adult children are often uncomfortable talking to their parents about aging issues or concerns they have about their parent’s safety and well-being. Here are some ideas to help improve communication with elderly parents or loved ones.
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Rosalynn Carter once said, “There are four kinds of people: those who have been caregivers; those who are currently caregivers; those who will be caregivers; and those who will need caregivers.” Many of us find ourselves in the role of caregiver due to different circumstances and responsibilities. Although each caregiving experience is unique, it is a journey that most of us will go through.
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Driving is a touchstone of adulthood, autonomy, and freedom of choice. When an aging loved one is approaching a time when they are no longer able to safely drive, the topic can sit in the room like the proverbial elephant that no one is acknowledging.
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Whether you are a spouse, child, grandchild or sibling, taking on the role of managing a family member’s care comes with unique responsibilities that will most likely change your relationship and the space you fill in their life. Caring for a loved one may sometimes make your relationship stronger, but the stress of both caregiving and the change in relationship dynamics may also harm your bond.
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Family caregivers hear the same lecture over and over: “You must stay connected to others or else you’ll become isolated and depressed.” But, even under the best conditions, it is never easy for caregivers to find time for socializing when they have so many daily tasks.
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Caring for an adult with intellectual or developmental disabilities can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. As parents, we all want security and happiness for our children, but for parents whose child has an intellectual or developmental disability, the role of providing that security and care can be extended far into adulthood.
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Individuals in the LGBT+ community have a long history of facing discrimination in the United States, and the effects of prejudice, hostility and mental, emotional and physical harm are felt by all generations of the community, from youths to older adults. Many LGBT+ older adults age into systems that may not fully accept and support them, and may directly or indirectly stand in the way of them getting the physical and mental health assistance they need.
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When caring for an aging parent or relative from afar, it can be hard to know when your help is needed. Sometimes, your parent will ask for help. Or, the sudden start of a severe illness will make it clear that assistance is needed. But, when you live far away, some detective work might be necessary to uncover possible signs that support or help is needed.
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Just like caregiving, traveling with someone who requires a wheelchair is something that most people probably never give any thought to until they have to do it. The world is not always an easy place to maneuver a wheelchair. Traveling when you’re caring for someone in a wheelchair requires a little more preparation and planning than you may be used to, but the extra effort doesn’t mean you should shy away from it. ?These tips should help you if you’re thinking of taking your caregiver life on the road.
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Finding time to dedicate to yourself with no outside distractions is challenging enough during the best of times. But when you’re a caregiver—especially a “sandwich generation” caregiver who is juggling work tasks with parenting and managing the care of an older loved one—spare time might feel like a myth.
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Caregiving isn’t just about you and your older loved one; it can also affect other people in your life. If you’re dedicating significant time to your caregiving responsibilities, it’s likely that you have to balance this role with your time together with your romantic partner, children, friends or other loved ones.
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The bathroom is routinely cited as the most dangerous room in the house for seniors. Countless slips and falls occur in the bathroom, causing a difficult (and sometimes embarrassing) situation for families. Because so many falls occur in the bathroom, we highly encourage our clients and their caregivers to take a close look at the bathroom for safety issues.
A fresh set of eyes, and a few simple changes, can make the bathroom a safe and comfortable place for everyone.
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It is easy for most people to notice when a loved one is slipping, such as in their declining care in appearance, personal hygiene, home organization, etc. For the long-distance caregiver, these little hints suggesting a need for assistance are harder to detect.
Many times a visit can be emotionally charged and consist only of spending the limited, quality time together. It is essential, however, for a long-distance caregiver to be practical and take care of the caregiving “business” while visiting, to establish support for after they’re gone. In this article, learn how to make the most of visits, see the warning signs, and rely on “substitute” eyes and ears while away from an aging loved one.
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Elderly people (people aged 65 years and older) are more prone to heat stress than younger people for several reasons:
Elderly people do not adjust as well as young people to sudden changes in temperature.
They are more likely to have a chronic medical condition that changes normal body responses to heat.
They are more likely to take prescription medicines that impair the body's ability to regulate its temperature or that inhibit perspiration.
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When you’re a caregiver for an older loved one, whether you’re their child, spouse, relative or friend, your relationship often takes on a new dynamic as your responsibilities change. In some cases, your relationship may become stronger, but in others, the stresses of caregiving may have a negative effect.
If you’re struggling to maintain a good relationship with a loved one, here are some tips that may help you repair your bond:
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Most people know to be careful about the heat when heading outside on a hot day, but it’s just as important to stay cool indoors, especially for older adults. According to the CDC, people aged 65 and older are at an increased risk for heat-related health problems such as heat stress and exhaustion. Certain chronic health conditions and medications can affect body temperature and sweat production, making it hard for the body to naturally cool down. Even if a loved one’s home is air conditioned, they may still overheat depending on their level of activity and how well the house is able to hold the cooler temperatures.
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When a loved one lives with someone else, like a spouse, roommate or adult child, it can be comforting to know that someone is looking out for them. But when your loved one lives alone, it can be worrisome to think about something happening to them and there being no one around to help.
According to the Pew Research Center, around 27 percent of older adults live alone. An AARP survey also found that 77 percent of older adults, including those who live alone, want to continue age in their own homes. Respecting a loved one’s wishes is important. But if you have concerns about safety, these are important to consider as well. Here are some tips to help you support a loved one living alone:
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It’s almost spring cleaning season, the perfect time to organize and declutter the home. Helping your lder loved one with spring cleaning is not just a thoughtful gesture, but a way to keep the place they live safe and comfortable. Here are three things you can do to help keep your loved one’s home in good condition this spring:
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All caregivers are struggling or will struggle with feelings of guilt, no matter how hard we’re trying to be the best caregiver possible.
Why do we experience guilt? There are 5 reasons that come to mind.
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Baby Boomers, more than 77 million strong, are also known as the Sandwich Generation. They are the ones raising their own kids and having to care for their aging parents at the same time. In one way, an enviable position to be in for those whose parents are in good health and maintain an active lifestyle. But for other Boomers whose parents have chronic health issues, are isolated or depressed, the responsibility can be overwhelming to the caregiver.
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In many areas of the country, cold weather is an old-forgotten nemesis that reappears this time of year. When caring for those with disabilities and seniors, caregivers must take some simple precautions to ensure a loved one’s safety this winter season.
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Everyone ages, and there comes a time when older or ailing loved ones need help. Oftentimes friends or family members rise to the occasion to assist them. If you’re one of those first-time family caregivers, you are not alone.
If you’re caring for a grandparent, parent or other loved one for the first time, there will be both challenges and rewards in the months ahead. It can be difficult, and you might not even be sure where to start. Don’t despair, though. Here is what you need to know.
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Being a caregiver is a stressful and demanding job. There is usually very little, if any opportunity to prepare for a new caregiving situation. The well-being of the caregiver must be considered. Thought must be given to the fate of the care recipient if the caregiver becomes unable to continue with caregiving responsibilities. Caregivers are vulnerable to depression, illness, physical exhaustion and emotional exhaustion. Any of these conditions will easily interfere with a person's ability to be an effective caregiver.
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A holiday visit with older relatives might be a good chance to help them remove fall risks in their home, an expert suggests.
Older adults' risk of falling may have increased during the pandemic due to declines in physical activity and mobility, along with increased isolation, a University of Michigan poll shows. Many also became more fearful of falling, which, in turn, can increase the risk.
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If you’re among America’s 54 million caregivers, knowing how to evacuate a loved one or how a loved one can take shelter during an emergency may not be as easy as just stepping out a door, or crawling out a window, especially if your loved one has mobility challenges and physical issues. Not only do you have to consider how you yourself will get out of the house during an emergency, but how will your loved one also be able to escape? These are just a few of the questions that a caregiver must consider to determine a much-needed safety plan for their loved one.
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It is common knowledge that elderly people with dementia lose their short-term memory first and their long-term memory last. For example, they often remember people and events from their earlier years but have difficulty remembering what they ate for breakfast the day before. A while back, a family member asked me "what do you do with someone who can no longer carry on a normal conversation?" The short answer is "Relax and have fun." The long answer would require writing a whole book. A short summary of some activities include the following:
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You can find a break from your caregiving in the simplest things.
Smile, it’s not funny how often we forget to do this simple act and how well it lifts our spirits
Call someone who makes you feel good, especially if you haven’t spoken with them in a long time
Have a bite of something sinfully delicious, while being aware of your own dietary limitations. When was the last time you treated yourself to a snack?
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Why is it that the words “respite” and “guilt” seem to go hand in hand? Why do caregivers feel we are somehow failing our loved one by admitting that we need help, need time to recharge our batteries or just need time to play a bit? Perhaps because so many of us still hold on to the myth that says the caregiver has to be all things to all people.
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Caregivers tend to put their health last on their list of priorities. They usually put the needs of their loved ones first. However, the stress caregivers experience makes their health issues more important than ever. Here is a checklist of ways for you to stay fit, both physically and mentally:
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Caregiving can sometimes be a depressing venture. Not only does it usually involve someone we love deteriorating before our eyes, but our own lives become completely rearranged. Believe it or not, when the holidays are right around the corner, it can make even those not in a caregiving situation depressed. Imagine what that does to a caregiver.
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While caregivers are defined as the people taking care of those needing help, they sometimes overlook the fact that caregiving responsibilities can take a toll on their own health.
In addition to physical ailments, caregivers are at risk for depression. Depression can strike anyone, at any age. Caregivers need to be especially aware of depression because of the great load they carry.
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Caregivers who are just beginning their journey may feel adult day care services are for later stages of their loved one’s situation. The sooner caregivers locate and enroll their family member in a program, the greater the benefit for all concerned. Finding the appropriate day care can be challenging, but it has grown much easier over time.
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Your loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. The first thing you want to do is find out all you can about the disease, and all about what you can do to take care of your loved one. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but, at least you’re an adult and you can understand what’s happening. What about your children? How can you help them cope?
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How do you find the balance? Is there a balance? Am I doing the right thing? Should I be doing more? These are important questions for a caregiver. They can dominate a caregiver’s daily thoughts. The experts all talk about balance. How do we find the balance when we are so busy doing the things that upset the balance?
Here is the key: there is no magic answer. You may be searching for an answer that is forever changing. Our ability to handle all that comes our way changes over time just as the needs of others around us change over time.
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Home health care is care provided in one’s own place of residence. This can include skilled nursing services, speech-language pathology, physical and occupational therapy, home health aide services, as well as medical social services and the provision of durable medical equipment such as wheelchairs or walkers for use in-home when ordered by a licensed physician. Anyone who has ever looked for home-based care for a loved one understands what an overwhelming experience it can be.
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Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease can be mentally and physically exhausting, so you should take steps to manage and reduce stress, according to the Alzheimer's Foundation of America.
"Finding ways to manage and reduce stress is of paramount importance for every Alzheimer's caregiver. Untreated stress can lead to physical, mental and emotional caregiver burnout," Jennifer Reeder, director of educational and social services, said in a foundation news release.
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It is easy for most people to notice when a loved one is slipping, such as in their declining care in appearance, personal hygiene, home organization, etc. For the long-distance caregiver, these little hints suggesting a need for assistance are harder to detect.
Often a visit can be emotionally charged and consist only of spending the limited, quality time together. It is essential, however, for a long-distance caregiver to be practical and take care of the caregiving “business” while visiting, to establish support for after they are gone. In this article, learn how to make the most of visits, see the warning signs, and rely on “substitute” eyes and ears while away from an aging loved one.
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Caregivers can help aging loved one make the most of the assets they have with the least amount of compromise to their quality of life.
PRE-PLANNING
“Be Prepared.” The Boy Scout motto rings true in so many life situations, and at any age. Even seniors need to be budgeting and planning financially for the future. The checks and balances wheel never stops moving, even after we’re gone.
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Recharging your batteries is one of the most important ways to help your loved one.
R: Rest. One of the most important things a caregiver can do for the person they’re caring for is to take care of themselves. A caregiver who wears himself out, and keeps going 24/7 risks burnout.
E: Eat right. Take a cue from your loved one’s diet and take the opportunity to eat healthy things as well.
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Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease can be mentally and physically exhausting, so you should take steps to manage and reduce stress, according to the Alzheimer's Foundation of America.
"Finding ways to manage and reduce stress is of paramount importance for every Alzheimer's caregiver. Untreated stress can lead to physical, mental and emotional caregiver burnout," Jennifer Reeder, director of educational and social services, said in a foundation news release.
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As the coronavirus pandemic continues in the United States, less than half of older Americans have legally stated their wishes should they become seriously ill, a new survey finds.
People 50 and older are at increased risk for severe COVID-19, and the pandemic may be an opportunity for them to discuss health care issues with their family and document their preferences if they suffer severe illness or injury from any cause, the study authors noted.
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Saving money is important, but no matter your age, it isn’t easy. For older adults, being short on money can lead to tough and often dangerous decisions between having an important, but expensive, medical procedure or medicine, and keeping the home heated and stocked with food.
As a caregiver, you can help your loved one look for ways to budget expenses so they are less likely to run the risk of being unable to cover necessary expenses such as rent, medication, doctor’s fees, insurance and credit card payments. To get started, consider the following areas of your loved one’s current budget:
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There is an old saying among grandparents: It is nice when the grandchildren visit. It is also nice when they go home to their parents.
But many grandparents see their grandchildren every day. Over 8 million American children live with their grandparents. In one-third of these homes, the parents don’t live there, and the grandparents are in charge. In other families, grandparents care for grandchildren during the day while the parents are at work.
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COVID-19 has brought tragic losses to millions of American families. It has also put many out of work. Loneliness and distress have increased. What have people learned through this national crisis?
Some people have discovered how tough they are. They have faced and met new challenges. Others have learned the people and activities that are most important to them. Many have learned to like working from home on video, not sitting in traffic.
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Home health aides have long provided the hands-on support and companionship to allow many older adults to remain in their homes. But during the pandemic, fear of the COVID-19 virus and its potentially harmful effects has led some of these adults and their children to decide to put home care services on hold. Instead, they have had the adult children take on more of the caregiving responsibilities. It hasn’t been easy for the adult children, but it has been bearable—at least temporarily.
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Adult children usually know when and why caregiving should start: Their aging parent needs help because of a sudden stroke or heart attack or gradual decline in thinking skills. But knowing when caregiving should stop is harder to figure out. Should it be when the family caregiver is too busy or worn out to do more? Or when the parent needs more help than the child knows how to give? Or only when the parent dies?
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Adult children and their aging parents, similar in many ways, are rarely in total agreement about family caregiving. Parents often have specific expectations about how and how much their children should help them with yard work, paying bills and picking up medications. Children, though, are busy with jobs, relationships, and childcare and have limited time for additional responsibilities.
This mismatch between expectations and availability can lead to disappointment. In the worst-case scenario, the parent feels hurt and angry that the child is neglecting them.
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As parents, grandparents, and other loved ones age, their lifestyles must change as well, including the place they call home. A stressful time inanyone’s life is “moving day”. To leave a home lovingly filled and yes, even cluttered, with decades of memories and memorabilia is an overwhelming task for the person living there, but for the long-distance caregiver, even more so.
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Winter is a special time for celebration. It should also be a time for added caution if you or someone in your family is an older adult. It is the season for falls, slips on icy streets and other dangers that can be especially harmful for older adults.
"Something as simple as a fall can be devastating for older men and women," says Dr. Evelyn Granieri, Chief of Geriatric Medicine and Aging at NewYork-Presbyterian/The Allen Hospital and Assistant Professor of Medicine at Columbia University Medical Center. "Before the cold weather arrives, it is important to prepare."
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Family caregivers hear the same lecture over and over: “You must stay connected to others or else you’ll become isolated and depressed.” But, even under the best conditions, it is never easy for caregivers to find time for socializing when they have so many daily tasks. Now, when even non-caregivers have become isolated because of their fears of infection, caregivers are struggling to figure out how they are supposed to juggle their responsibilities, reach out to others, and stay safe. In-person family get-togethers can seem risky. Wearing masks and keeping distance while meeting friends outdoors may seem like more trouble than it’s worth.
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One thing that’s true about family caregiving is that, even when it’s rewarding, it isn’t easy. But during the Covid crisis, caring for loved ones and keeping them safe has never been harder or more important. Family caregivers are feeling the pressure. A recent Rosalyn Carter Institute for Caregiving survey of over 400 caregivers found that 83% of them have felt more stressed during the pandemic and 42% said that other family members are no longer around to help.
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More older Americans have been seeing their doctors virtually since the pandemic began than ever before, a new poll finds.
During the first three months of the pandemic, one in four patients over 50 years of age used telehealth -- way up from the 4% who did so in 2019.
Comfort levels with telemedicine have also risen, the researchers said. In 2019, most older people had at least one concern about telemedicine, but by mid-2020, the number of those with concerns dropped, especially among people who had a virtual visit between March and June.
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Caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease comes with daily challenges and disruptions, and those have only increased during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Due to the risk of infection, contact with your loved one may now be off-limits or severely restricted. Caregivers probably need to wear masks, which may be confusing to someone with Alzheimer's. And, if your loved one gets sick, how do you deal with a doctor's office visit?
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Do you find the need to repeat yourself more often to the person or loved one you are caring for? Does your talking level closely resemble your yelling level just so your loved one can hear you? Are you speaking so slowly that you end up losing your train of thought? It is possible that the person you are caring for is one of the 28 million Americans suffering from hearing loss.
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Being a primary caregiver for a family member who lives in a different city or state can feel like a full-time job, complete with its own set of stressors and related emotions.
“I think caregivers can be disappointed at times,” said Vicki Williford, a chronic care nurse in Greensboro, North Carolina. “The home health nurse comes and goes, and the family caregiver still has another 23 hours to go.”
That’s 23 more hours to make sure the care recipient has taken medication, avoided falls, eaten healthy meals, and made it to the bathroom in time — all of which have to be supervised remotely by long-distance caregivers.
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It is a challenge for many of us under the best of conditions to balance our work and family responsibilities, including caring for children and aging parents. For those sheltering in place nowadays, it has never been harder. You may be in a teleconference for work only to be interrupted by a phone call from your parents, a knock on your door from your kids or the house doorbell. You may be home schooling your children only to be disturbed by urgent calls from your supervisor. When you commuted back and forth to a workplace, you could better separate time spent on work projects and family caregiving. Now work and family times are more scrambled together.
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As you shelter at home during the coronavirus pandemic, eliminate hazards inside that could lead to falls, the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) suggests.
Preventing injuries will help avoid putting added strain on a health care system struggling to treat COVID-19 patients, academy spokesman Dr. Todd Swenning said.
One out of five falls causes a serious injury, such as a broken bone or even head trauma, he added.
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Being a primary caregiver for a family member who lives in a different city or state can feel like a full-time job, complete with its own set of stressors and related emotions.
“I think (family) caregivers can be disappointed at times,” said Vicki Williford, a chronic care nurse in Greensboro, North Carolina. “The home health nurse comes and goes, and the caregiver still has another 23 hours to go.”
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There is no right way to react emotionally to the current pandemic. Some people feel increased worry for their safety and others feel gratitude for the protection of their comfortable homes. Some are angry, sad or both about the losses of activities, events and income they’ve experienced. Others don’t seem to have much emotional reaction at all, shrugging off the crisis by rationalizing that this, too, shall pass.
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No matter how devoted you are to the person for whom you’re caring, it is important to be able to balance that commitment with other family responsibilities. That is especially true for your relationship with your partner. The quality of many marriages has been harmed when one spouse focused too much for an extended period of time on an aging parent’s needs and the other spouse felt put on the shelf. This is even more true when the aging parent lives with the couple.
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In an early scene of the family caregiving movie, What They Had. the concerned but angry adult son (played with simmering resentment by Michael Shannon) tells his tough Irish-American father (played by Robert Forster) that he should think about the stages of his wife’s dementia — open his eyes to the extent of her terrible decline with more to come. He is trying to convince his stubborn father that memory-care placement can’t be avoided. The father responds with swift, thunderous dismissal: “Those stages are horseshit!”
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Laughter, enjoyment, impulsiveness, and spontaneity. These are some ingredients of “fun,” a critical part of aging that needs more focus. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. My mother is 93 years old. She is having fun now, but that was not always the case! She and my Dad moved to independent senior living about a year ago and it has been fascinating to see how they have adapted and changed. My mom goes to yoga, attends wine and cheese events and book club. I would probably not describe her as a person who looks to have “fun,” but I think she has seized the moment and taken advantage of what life is now offering.
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Caregivers are busy people. It’s often a headlong dash for them to get through their many tasks by the end of the day. Along the way, they may impatiently hurry their loved ones along. They may even be prone to ordering them to finish eating or get in the car rather than engaging them in discussions about what they’d like to do. That may make for more time-efficient caregiving but upset those care receivers who don’t like feeling pushed.
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“I am cutting back my schedule.” Anyone ever heard a friend say these words? Ever heard yourself say them? As a caregiver, you’re probably thinking, “I don’t have the option to do that. My day is always busy caring for one or many people.”
Actually, you do have options for controlling your schedule and paring it down to reasonable amounts of work. I know you’ve heard this suggestion before with a bromide like, “Just make time for yourself.” So let’s look at specific tips that can truly assist in clearing some time for yourself, cutting back on wasted time or unnecessary tasks.
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I recently attended a memorial service for an older member of my community whom I was fond of but did not know very well. My wife, Melissa, knew him better and has enjoyed a friendship with his wife which has lasted for almost two decades.
During the memorial service..
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Our relationships with loved ones are not always happy ones. We may have never been close to them or were mistreated by them when we were younger. Then, later in their lives, we are expected by them and other family members to step up and provide care when they need assistance.
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All caregivers know their caregiving years will eventually come to an end when their loved one dies. But few caregivers allow themselves to think about that day. They are very focused on meeting the present challenges. They also don’t want to dwell on what may be a sad and painful loss.
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Your loved one with Alzheimer’s disease may wander off for a variety of reasons. Wandering may be due to stress or fear, boredom, or searching. He or she may wander off trying to fill a basic need, like hunger or a need to go to the bathroom. Sometimes they are reliving their former lives, believing that they are shopping or going to work. If you know why they wander off, you may be able to come up with a plan that helps to prevent it.
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As a caregiver, you undoubtedly find yourself in doctor’s offices. Perhaps even emergency rooms. These settings can be very intimidating but learning how to advocate is a critically important skill. One that will help not only your family member, but you as well.
Why is Advocating Important?
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Caregivers know they should take care of themselves. Nearly everyone they meet gives them that advice. But for some caregivers, there never seems to be enough time to eat the right foods, do their exercises, and take their own medications because they are frantically busy from one moment to the next, day after day, focusing on their loved one’s needs. Self-care makes sense to them but seems nearly impossible to achieve.
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No one likes to be told their best efforts aren’t good enough. But that’s what often happens to caregivers. Family members and friends feel free to give unsolicited advice for improving the ways the caregiver is providing care. Even if those suggestions might be helpful, being told to change their caregiving can make caregivers feel criticized and hurt.
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Many years ago, I became interested in understanding the scientific basis for meditation and relaxing, even though back then, I was skeptical about these “foreign” techniques. In this article, I will review two similar techniques. These practices are believed to result in a state of greater relaxation and mental calmness.
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Ellen is a grandmother who now must care for her husband, who has Alzheimer’s disease. She no longer has the family over on holidays, misses her grandchildren’s activities, and even going to get her hair done has become an unpleasant chore. Caring for her husband has made her stressed and isolated.
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The good news is that because of technology, seniors have many ways to connect with people. The bad news is that many seniors do not feel at home with technology. Only 26% of people over the age of 65 who use the internet feel comfortable using computers, smartphones, tablets and other electronic devices. Most (75%) seniors feel that when they get a new device, they need someone to set it up and show them how to use it.
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Restlessness, irritability, agitation and confusion that tends to occur late in the day is known as “sundowning”. There are a lot of factors that can trigger sundown syndrome. These include: fatigue, illness, poor lighting, increasing shadows, and disruption of the regular daily schedule to name a few. Sundown syndrome can occur without these triggers. Here are some tips to help minimize the occurrence of sundown syndrome:
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Sometimes it just feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day. You set out to answer some e-mails in the morning and all of the sudden it’s lunchtime and you haven’t gotten to any of the items on your to-do list. It feels even more hectic for those of us who are juggling jobs, kids, homes, and caregiving for our loved ones. Is there any way to find more time?
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"Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children" Walt Disney
My mother's early onset dementia, at the age of 62, affected our whole family; not only the adults, but the children too. There was no escaping it. Everyone was impacted.
For this reason, and many more, I think talking to kids about dementia is very beneficial. In fact, involving kids in our family's dementia experience brought on so much more value than I ever expected. We were left with poignant gifts, despite the hardships.
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Mental health conditions in elderly people are not always a result of genetics or of aging. Some people tend to think that all of the mental problems in old age are caused by growing old but the truth is that a number of lifestyle factors contribute towards the mental health of all people—young and old alike. Here are 5 of those factors which can affect our seniors’ mental health.
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Do you have an aging loved one? Are they ready for a change, but not ready to move out of their home yet? Aging in Place may be the right step for them. Aging in Place promotes staying in the home as long as possible by making modifications to the home.
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When older adults move from their long-time home to embrace a simpler lifestyle, they may also be leaving the house in which they raised their children. These children, now adults, also have emotional ties to their childhood home. Though they do not live there anymore, they enjoy visiting and going through old papers in the attic and boxes of toys in the basement. They may want a voice in the destiny of these family treasures.
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With supermarket and convenience store shelves awash with bottled water, it’s inconceivable that anybody could be dehydrated. Yet studies suggest a third of elders are chronically dehydrated, which can result in some very bad health outcomes.
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With approximately one in three older adults suffering from some form of eye disease or condition that adversely impacts eyesight, loss of vision has become a major healthcare problem in America. The 4 most common eye diseases or conditions that crop up with aging include glaucoma, cataract, diabetic retinopathy, and age-related macular degeneration. Since the risk of vision loss increases significantly with aging, it is important that the elderly population gets a comprehensive eye examination.
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It’s not easy talking to your older loved one about their personal finances, and even more difficult to help them realize that it may be time to turn the reins over to you or another caregiver. Avoiding the conversation, though, can lead to unnecessary stress and unwarranted headaches later on, and can leave your loved one open to financial exploitation. So how do you start the conversation? And what should you say? Here are a few tips:
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As our loved one’s age, simple household chores can become increasingly difficult. Laundry can quickly become a hazardous task for our loved ones to perform on their own. Here are some tips to help your loved one maintain their laundry, a small but important step toward retaining independence.
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People of all ages can experience transfer trauma (or relocation stress syndrome) when moving to a new home. But the elderly can be particularly susceptible, with severe physical and psychological effects. As a caregiver or caretaker of a loved one, it’s important that you learn about the signs and potential repercussions of transfer trauma so that the impact can be minimized or prevented altogether.
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Did you know that as we grow older, our sense of touch diminishes? Sure, I knew that eyesight and hearing often decline, along with our sense of smell and taste, but it was news to me that our sense of touch declines as well. According to a recent *article in AARP, by the time we are 80, we’ve only a quarter of the touch receptors we had at 20. Because it’s so gradual, many of us may not even notice this loss. While our sense of touch may lessen, our need for touch certainly doesn’t!
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Helping Seniors Connect with Others is Easier Than You Think!
There is a wealth of information that caregivers and seniors can access to help stay connected with others. Perhaps, an activity or two on the web might fill up those days where gaps in time can feel forever for loved ones. A few are listed below with a brief description of each.
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Many of us speak of obtaining care for our loved ones or clients so that they can remain in their homes. This is the ideal setting for people in most circumstance.
The concept of “In home” care has gained universal awareness and acceptance. Indeed, the term “Home Care” has become a part of our vernacular or lexicon.
But here is the important distinction that caregivers need to understand: “Home Care” is a very specific type of care.
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As caregivers we tend to want more for our loved ones than reading the newspaper, watching TV and sitting quietly trying to take prolonged naps. Although it might seem like a rather daunting task to convince our loved ones to get more active, communities are gearing up to take on the challenge of providing physical activities for their seniors. This would make sense; especially when the CDC (Center for Disease Control) recommends physical activity for those over the age of 65 to be about 2–2.5 hours a week.
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Our bodies are over 50% water, and we need it for blood to flow and for our organs to function. When we lose too much water from not drinking enough, sweating, or illness, we can get dehydrated. This is rare in children and young adults, however, in older persons dehydration is quite common, especially when the person has Alzheimer’s disease or a related dementia. In fact, most older adults are at least somewhat dehydrated all of the time. This is because many medications cause water loss, and because older people often drink less to avoid frequent trips to the bathroom or accidents.
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With cold, snowy and icing conditions on the way, now is the time to prepare for winter safety. Extreme weather conditions are hard on everyone, but can be particularly challenging for seniors. Because of chronic health conditions, multiple medications, and impaired mobility (difficulties with walking and balance), seniors don’t react the same way they did when they were younger. As a result, seniors can be slower to adjust to adverse conditions that puts them at increased risk for slipping and falling.
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Over a lifetime the average American spends about three years eating. That's a lot of meals. By the time you've reached late life, food may have lost some of its appeal. There are a variety of reasons why people lose their appetites as they age:
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As our loved ones age, their oral health can become a serious issue. According to the Washington Dental Service Foundation (WDSF), around 75 % of adults age 60 and older only have a portion of their original teeth. Additionally, poor dental health can have an impact on your loved one’s overall health and increase the risk for diabetes and heart disease. Here are some tips for protecting your loved one’s teeth:
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If you are providing care for an older loved one who lives in their own home, chances are good that they want to stay there for as long as possible. Home upkeep may become a challenge, especially if your loved one has mobility issues. Here are some techniques and products that can help your loved one overcome these challenges to maintain their home – and their independence.
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There are many health benefits for seniors who walk on a regular basis, such as, strengthened muscles, preventing weight gain, improved balance, lower likelihood of falling and a lower risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes and osteoporosis. If the loved one in your care has mobility issues, they can still benefit from walking, even if it’s just a little bit. Here are some tips to help your loved one remain mobile:
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Most older adults visit the doctor regularly – for checkups, monitoring chronic illnesses, or when new symptoms develop. Some prefer to meet with the doctor privately. Others like to have a family member present for all or part of the appointment. If your relative has Alzheimer's disease or a hearing impairment you can make sure he or she understands what the doctor is saying.
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Caring for an older adult with Alzheimer's disease or serious illness can be a rewarding experience for families and spouses. It is also a tremendous responsibility especially if the person cared for suffers from memory disorders, depression or serious illnesses. Besides looking after the needs of their older parents, "Sandwich generation" caregivers are also responsible for caring for their own children -- often while holding down full or part-time jobs.
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As your loved one ages, they may experience changes that impact their appetite, their ability to distinguish taste, smell, temperature and texture of food, and if they have dementia, they may have difficulty feeding themselves. You can help your loved one maintain proper nutrition and avoid unwanted weight loss and other negative outcomes by following the tips below. Your loved one’s physician may also recommend nutrient-rich liquid supplements to help your loved one maintain their health.
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As our loved ones age, the possibility of accidents happening in the kitchen goes up dramatically. According to the Federal Emergency Management Agency, people over the age of 65 have a 2.5 times greater risk of dying in a kitchen fire than the general population. Our loved ones are much more prone to falling when trying to reach something on the top shelf, and more susceptible to food borne illnesses that can be fatal from improperly stored food. Consider these tips when helping your loved one cook:
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Are advance directives valid in all states?
Each state has its own law regarding advance healthcare directives.
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Helping your loved one use the toilet can be a very uncomfortable situation. If your loved one has dementia, loss of control over their bladder and bowels can set in during the later stages of the disease. It’s important to try to allow your loved one to have independence over their toileting for as long as possible. Here are some suggestions for when it is time to intervene:
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“Caregiver stress” is a frequently used term, but it can show itself in different ways in different people. Stress can be categorized in two ways: physical or psychological.
Physical stress can show up through sleepless nights, headaches, being tired all the time, a change in heart rate, changes in appetite and other bodily signs.
Psychological stress will show itself through irritability, depression, forgetfulness, anxiety, poor concentration and the like.
It’s easy to see why caregiver stress can have a negative impact on your ability to provide care for your loved one. If you are experiencing any of these signs of stress, it’s time to take care of yourself.
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There are a wide range of services and supports available to assist caregivers in ensuring the health and well-being of the loved one in their care. Accessing services and supports, however, can sometimes be a challenge, even in metropolitan areas with an active aging-services network.
In rural areas, those challenges are magnified. A smaller population likely means the presence of fewer provider agencies that can step in to help. Medical and health services may be located a great distance away.
While these and other obstacles to caregivers will likely persist, there are ways to manage these challenges to help you help your loved one live with a high quality of life and to help you manage your caregiving tasks.
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Caregivers and their loved ones often disagree when it comes to managing their care. Dementia can cause many differences in opinions, as caregivers may not understand the things that are important to their loved ones. Those differences of opinion can arise in other caregiving situations as well.
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“What’s new?” That common conversation starter may work well when you’re catching up with friends or colleagues. However, if you are talking to your loved one with dementia, whose short-term memory is impaired, that simple question can lead to confusion and frustration.
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In today’s fast-paced world nearly everyone has a smart phone. Whether you’re just playing games or organizing your life, there’s an app for everything nowadays; caregiving is no exception. There are many apps on the market designed for caregivers: from general caregiving information to tracking medication schedules. Here is a small sample of some free, highly rated apps available to help you care for your loved one.
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You’re worried about your mother’s increasingly apparent memory loss. What do you do?
Your father is scheduled for surgery and you’re anxious about the help he’ll receive during his recovery. Where do you even begin to look for help?
Caregivers ask themselves questions like this every day. And if you’re new to the caregiving role, you may be at a complete loss of where to even begin. How do you know where to turn for answers, when sometimes you don’t even know what questions you should be asking?
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Working as a caregiver for a parent or loved one takes more than just time and energy. Caregivers must balance work life at their day jobs along with taking care of their loved ones. In some cases, caregivers have to sacrifice time at work—or working at all—to help their loved ones. This sort of sacrifice hurts the caregivers as this results in lower wages and also lowers social security and pensions when they return to the workforce.
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Many memories can be found in objects of sentimental value. A special photo of your parents on their wedding day. A set of china that was a gift from your father to your mother.
When your parent or parents die, or transition into assisted living, these items can take on even more value--as you will most likely become their recipient.
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Being a caregiver can be stressful on you and your sleeping habits – and for caregivers of loved ones with dementia this is especially true. According to National Alliance for Caregivers, two-thirds of the 10 million people who care for patients with dementia suffer sleep disturbances.
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Pneumonia can be more than just a “bug” for anyone over 65 years of age. As a caregiver, you need to understand that this infection of the lungs can be quite dangerous and possibly deadly to your loved one. It is recommended that your loved one receive the pneumonia vaccine.
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Chronic loneliness is growing rapidly in the United States. A recent survey conducted by the AARP shows that 20 percent more older adults suffer from chronic loneliness now than did 10 years ago. This means there are millions of adults over the age of 45 suffering from chronic loneliness.
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Most people want to live in their own homes as they become older. This becomes difficult as age and infirmities slow individuals down. Adding to this, grown children may not live nearby. The best way to help your parents is to plan ahead and assemble a team.
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Thanks to modern medical procedures, research, and public awareness, people with dementia are being diagnosed earlier than in the past. As a result, people with memory loss have the opportunity to learn about their symptoms and diagnosis, and prepare for future changes in their ability to function.
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As caregiver for your parent or other loved one, you want what is best for the person in your care. You take care of your loved one’s daily needs, make sure he or she has appropriate medical care, prepare nutritious meals and do everything you can to improve your loved one’s quality of life.
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People purchase or adopt pets for many different reasons, but it’s safe to say that companionship ranks among the top. A pet can be a staunch friend and companion. They also can eliminate boredom, battle anxiety and depression. Having a pet around may seem like an ideal situation for older adults.
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An average doctor’s appointment is just 15 minutes. There is a lot to accomplish in that time. That time is valuable, so in order to make the most of it, one must be prepared. Understandably, going to the doctor can be nerve-racking and overwhelming for older adults, especially those who are dealing with complicated health conditions or are facing serious health decisions. It is best if the caregiver can accompany the older adult on the doctor appointments, but if that’s not possible, the caregiver can help prepare for the visit.
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Worrying about your elderly loved one can be quite stressful, especially if he or she is living alone and you are far away. An emergency alert device can help alleviate the stress you and your loved one may be feeling. An emergency alert device is a remote device about the thickness of a quarter that is linked to a base. Your loved one can wear it on a nylon necklace, on a wristband, or a belt clip. Most alert devices are waterproof, so they can be worn at all times, including when bathing.
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Very few people sign up to become caregivers of their aged parents or loved ones. The role of caregiver is usually thrust upon someone because of an emergency situation, or it just happens so gradually that a person becomes a caregiver and probably didn’t realize it.
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The ability and want to work is something that doesn’t change for people just because they retire from their first careers. Many older adults would like to continue to work in some fashion to have an additional sense of purpose, make extra income, or to have more flexibility in their work/life balance.
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This is the time of “the tablet” — the latest tech craze ushered into existence with the Apple iPad and now followed by a slew of imitators and less expensive options. Lightweight and easy to use, these computers provide users mobility, user-friendly apps, and rechargeable batteries
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The ability to drive is a symbol of freedom—freedom to travel to work, to visit friends and relatives, and to go basically wherever you want to go.
This freedom is a privilege for people who can obey or follow the rules of the road. Although most people become more conservative as drivers as they get older, statistics show that older adults are more likely to be in multi-car crashes or to receive more traffic citations than younger drivers.
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The ability to drive a car is a privilege, not a right. This needs to be taken into consideration as drivers get older. Reflexes become dull; eyesight fades. These things happen to all seniors as they get older; however, some seniors have a difficult time relinquishing the keys when the time comes for them to stop driving.
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If you are a caregiver for a parent or loved one, you have probably heard the term “Geriatric Care Manager” but may not know exactly what one is. That’s because it’s a relatively new profession to enter the field of elder care.
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Flying is one of the most popular and convenient ways to travel– especially for older adults who have chronic health conditions. If your older loved one has not traveled by plane recently you might consider volunteering to help him or her prepare for the trip so it will be as pleasant and care-free as possible.
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Congratulations, you just became a grandparent! The odds are fairly good that you also became a part-time to full-time babysitter.
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We live in a very transient society. Whether we choose to move because of job relocation, or a desire to live in more agreeable climate, many older adults have adult children who live in different states or regions of the country.
When it comes to caregiving – it isn’t necessary or always possible for caregivers to live in the same community as the older adult. If you live an hour or more away from the older adult, you are considered a long distance caregiver.
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It’s hard to believe that the winter holidays are almost here! If you are caring for an older adult you are probably trying to decide when your family’s traditional holiday celebration will take place this year and who will be invited. Like many family care providers you’ll need to plan ahead for festivities that are easy to manage and don’t require lots of complicated food preparation or cleanup so you can enjoy the holiday celebration too.
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As memory loss progresses it becomes increasingly difficult for older adults to manage many personal care activities. It takes longer for them to get dressed, take a bath, use the toilet, and eat a meal. Busy caregivers sometimes decide that it's easier and faster to take over personal care tasks themselves. As a result their parent gradually loses some of her independence and ability to manage her own care.
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A visit to the emergency room is an upsetting experience for anyone and it is especially frightening for an older adult with a failing memory. Medical emergencies occur frequently in older people with multiple chronic diseases and are especially likely to occur in those with memory disorders like Alzheimer's disease. Fortunately, many illnesses and injuries can be diagnosed and treated in the emergency room and don't require a hospital stay.
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Gardening can be a wonderful activity for older adults with Alzheimer's or other memory disorders and their families. Whether you and your loved one have earned green thumbs after years of tilling the soil or are looking for a pleasant new activity you can enjoy together, nothing quite beats working in the garden.
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Early in the evening when the sun goes down is the time for you and your older parent to put aside the cares and chores of the day and prepare for a good night's sleep. For many people in the later stages of Alzheimer's disease however, the end of the day and the coming of night are upsetting, confusing, even frightening.
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Moving to a new home is a huge event for people of any age. It's especially stressful for older adults who may have lived in the same house in the same neighborhood for decades. Whether they're moving to a house across the street or a retirement community across the country they'll need lots of help and support from you and other family members.
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Finding the right doctor is essential for people of any age. It's especially important for older adults who often have numerous health conditions. A knowledgeable physician – especially a doctor who focuses on caring for elderly patients -- can provide the care older people need to stay as healthy as possible.
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INTRODUCING THE "SANDWICH GENERATION"
Juggling child care, parent care and a job – without dropping the balls or losing your own mind – is a major challenge for women of the "Sandwich Generation." According to the Administration on Aging, the care families provide for older adults make it possible for them to live at home instead of moving to a nursing home, assisted living, or other long-term care facility.
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For many older men, caring for a spouse with a memory disorder is an unexpected career. After years on the job, couples retire and look forward to traveling, enjoying grandchildren, and making the most of their golden years. Over time they've developed household routines and have learned to cope with the ailments, aches and pains, numerous medications and frequent medical appointments that are a part of growing old.
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Caring for someone with Alzheimer's or other chronic illness can be a tremendously challenging experience for families. Yet many caregivers firmly believe it's their duty to care for older parents and spouses. Others are reluctant to seek help because they don't think anyone would be willing to lend a helping hand. Some caregivers simply don't know what kind of help to ask for.
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Pets are an important part of the lives of many older adults. If your parent grew up with dogs and cats he can't imagine what his life would be like without the friendship of a furry friend. The bond between older people and their pets can be a strong one especially when an older person lives alone.
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The Internet is a terrific information resource for older adults and their caregivers. With the click of a mouse you can access thousands of websites offering a wealth of information on a variety of useful subjects.
If you don't own a home computer most libraries have free computers available for public use. Libraries and senior centers sponsor free or low-cost introductory computer classes and Internet search techniques. Or ask a computer savvy family member for assistance.
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No matter how old you are home is a very special place. As people age, living at home becomes even more important and older adults prefer to live in their own house or apartment as long as they can.
Sometimes "home sweet home" is not always the safest or convenient place for an older person to live – especially if he suffers from chronic illnesses or a memory disorder like Alzheimer's. With even minor modifications your older relative can continue to live comfortably in her own house, apartment or condominium
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How prepared are you and your older family members for a disaster? Do you know what to do if a severe thunderstorm, earthquake, hurricane, tornado or blizzard strikes your neighborhood?
Planning ahead for such emergencies is critical for families of older adults – especially if they care for people with chronic illnesses, physical disabilities, or Alzheimer's disease. Knowing what to do in a crisis could save the lives of and prevent injuries to the people you care about.
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If you are looking after the needs of an older family member and often feel overwhelmed by caregiving -- you aren't alone. However friends, neighbors and other relatives are often eager to help you in any way they can. With their assistance you'll be able to provide the best possible care for your older relative and take care of yourself too.
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A hospital stay can be particularly upsetting for older adults – especially if they have Alzheimer's disease or other memory disorders. Your relative will be away from familiar surroundings. He or she may have a roommate. Hospital food is different from home cooking. Hospitals are noisy places. Patients often have a hard time sleeping. Nurses, doctors, and other staff come and go at all hours. To top it off – hospital patients don't feel well.
If your older relative needs to go to the hospital for treatment, tests, or surgery, planning ahead can make the experience less upsetting for both of you.
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Sooner or later your older family member will need a doctor -- for a specific complaint or routine care. The best time to choose a doctor is before your relative gets sick.
Talk with your relative about what kind of doctor will meet his or her health care needs best. Make a list of questions and names of a few doctors you both would like to meet. The list will help you make an informed decision and feel confident that your relative will get the best possible care.
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Over the years families often move apart. Adult children find better jobs and move to new cities. Parents head south after retirement. Family ties become strained because relatives no longer share the same interests or values. When older parents need help, distance can make caregiving a complicated task – filled with phone calls, numerous trips, uncertainties and worries.
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Most older adults want to keep driving as long as possible. Without a car they fear losing their independence and fear they will become a burden on family and friends.
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Sudden illnesses or injuries can be frightening. Knowing what to do in emergency situations ensures that you get the medical help needed to save the life of an elderly relative.
Emergency medical service units (EMS) respond to every call they receive and should be used only when a real emergency takes place. EMS units summoned for non-emergencies aren't available for true emergencies.
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Older adults are prime targets for telemarketers. They're often home during the day -- bored or lonely -- so phone calls from anybody are a welcome break. People with physical disabilities or even mild memory loss are easy prey for unscrupulous telemarketers.
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Many older people hold onto bills, statements, medical forms, insurance policies, property deeds, contracts, credit and other papers they no longer need. With time and patience you and your parents can organize these papers and decide what must be saved and what can be thrown away.
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If someone you care for is over 65 you probably manage from two to seven or more medications every day. Of the 1.7 billion prescriptions written each year over a third are for older adults. Certain medicines you decide to take yourself. Others are prescribed by your doctor. You may feel like your whole day revolves around medication planning for your loved one.
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